ZOMG!!! ONE WEEK!!!! OPENING DAY!!!! CAN. NOT. WAIT!!!!!
Mar 30, 2009
A Public Service Announcement...
There are some terms in this world that, because they are not fully understood, are frightening. One of these terms directly affects me and my ability to build relationships with people. The term? Atheist.
Now. When people get to know me as an individual, this term is rarely an issue. This post is NOT for those of you who haven't bothered to get to know me as an individual. This post is for those of you who already know me and might not fully understand what I believe and how this affects the kind of person I am. This post is also for others who might be struggling with their own faith or lack thereof.
I was raised in a Catholic home and was a practicing Catholic through college. I taught Religious Education during college to 1st graders and then to the 10th grade Confirmation class that led me to become the Confirmation Leader at the Church of the Nativity for two years. I will never claim to have been the most devout Catholic, but I tried for a very long time to believe what the Church taught me. Despite all this religious education, I still had questions. Even as a child. I would ask why all the other religions were "wrong" and the answer, "Because they are..." never quite satisfied me. I also struggled with certain absolutes of the religion of my upbringing and wondered why most of the Catholics I knew only followed some of the rules some of the time. It wasn't until I left for graduate school that I really started to re-evaluate my thoughts on my faith.
I tried desperately for a very long time to believe in something and didn't decide on my current worldview without a great deal of reflection, discussion, and learning. I started attending the Unitarian Universalist church and the question of "Why" persisted. I dabbled in other religious expressions and the question of "Why" still remained. I thought that to NOT believe in something was to make life meaningless. It wasn't until I REALLY started to rationalize my own personal philosophy (after much reading and discussing and thinking) that I realized that I DID believe in lots of things...even if a "god" wasn't among those things anymore. I also realized that a lack of faith can inject a great deal of meaning into my life and it filled a void I feared I was going to lose when I lost religion.
Today I am MUCH more agnostic than militant atheist (even though those jerks get ALL the press!). Do I believe in God? Not really. Do I know with any certainty that there is/isn't a God? Nope. Do I "believe" in being a good person? Absolutely! There are certain guidelines that any decent person must adhere to. Honesty, Kindness, Empathy, Trust, Acceptance, Love, etc... Some would call these Christian values which is fine. If I am the first agnostic person to proclaim that I have Christian values I'm totally fine with that.
What meaning is there to life from an agnostic worldview? LOTS! For me, this life is the only one I'm sure of, so I need to make it the best it can be. I need to make my mark through kindness and generosity now... I need to experience as much as possible now... I need to be a good person...now. I still want to do all these things even without the promise of eternal reward. My most frustrating moments are those when I am judged to be a horrible person just because I believe in one fewer God than most. Most days, I believe I behave in what most would consider very "Christian" ways. I no longer take my morals and ethics from religion, but my morals and ethics are still there and are still very strong and include compassion, love, trust, honesty, kindness, sacrifice, and acceptance.
What if I'm wrong? Well...I was baptised Catholic so I'll just hang out in Purgatory for all eternity so I've got that going for me. :)
Now. When people get to know me as an individual, this term is rarely an issue. This post is NOT for those of you who haven't bothered to get to know me as an individual. This post is for those of you who already know me and might not fully understand what I believe and how this affects the kind of person I am. This post is also for others who might be struggling with their own faith or lack thereof.
I was raised in a Catholic home and was a practicing Catholic through college. I taught Religious Education during college to 1st graders and then to the 10th grade Confirmation class that led me to become the Confirmation Leader at the Church of the Nativity for two years. I will never claim to have been the most devout Catholic, but I tried for a very long time to believe what the Church taught me. Despite all this religious education, I still had questions. Even as a child. I would ask why all the other religions were "wrong" and the answer, "Because they are..." never quite satisfied me. I also struggled with certain absolutes of the religion of my upbringing and wondered why most of the Catholics I knew only followed some of the rules some of the time. It wasn't until I left for graduate school that I really started to re-evaluate my thoughts on my faith.
I tried desperately for a very long time to believe in something and didn't decide on my current worldview without a great deal of reflection, discussion, and learning. I started attending the Unitarian Universalist church and the question of "Why" persisted. I dabbled in other religious expressions and the question of "Why" still remained. I thought that to NOT believe in something was to make life meaningless. It wasn't until I REALLY started to rationalize my own personal philosophy (after much reading and discussing and thinking) that I realized that I DID believe in lots of things...even if a "god" wasn't among those things anymore. I also realized that a lack of faith can inject a great deal of meaning into my life and it filled a void I feared I was going to lose when I lost religion.
Today I am MUCH more agnostic than militant atheist (even though those jerks get ALL the press!). Do I believe in God? Not really. Do I know with any certainty that there is/isn't a God? Nope. Do I "believe" in being a good person? Absolutely! There are certain guidelines that any decent person must adhere to. Honesty, Kindness, Empathy, Trust, Acceptance, Love, etc... Some would call these Christian values which is fine. If I am the first agnostic person to proclaim that I have Christian values I'm totally fine with that.
What meaning is there to life from an agnostic worldview? LOTS! For me, this life is the only one I'm sure of, so I need to make it the best it can be. I need to make my mark through kindness and generosity now... I need to experience as much as possible now... I need to be a good person...now. I still want to do all these things even without the promise of eternal reward. My most frustrating moments are those when I am judged to be a horrible person just because I believe in one fewer God than most. Most days, I believe I behave in what most would consider very "Christian" ways. I no longer take my morals and ethics from religion, but my morals and ethics are still there and are still very strong and include compassion, love, trust, honesty, kindness, sacrifice, and acceptance.
What if I'm wrong? Well...I was baptised Catholic so I'll just hang out in Purgatory for all eternity so I've got that going for me. :)
Feb 11, 2009
Getting ready...
Pitchers and Catchers (this means Yadi!!) report to FL on Saturday to start Spring Training! Baseball season is right around the corner...YES!!! I downloaded my Cardinals app. to my Blackberry and have my #4 jersey dusted off and ready to go...I'll probably wear it Tuesday to class. I 100% wish I had the funds to take a quick Spring Break trip to Jupiter, FL and watch my Cards in the sun! Anyway...the countdown to Opening Day is on!
Feb 9, 2009
Stella is so grounded...
I'm starting to think that the drive from Worthington might be out to get me. Last time I made the trek, a giant ice missile almost killed me. THIS time I decided to leave during the day, while it was warm, and drive much closer to the speed limit than I am accustomed to (recent news has informed me that tC drivers are the 2nd biggest assholes on the road behind H2 drivers evidenced by the tC being the 2nd most pulled over vehicle on the road...). ANYWAY...all my precautions got thrown right out the window when I got a flat tire somewhere about 30 miles outside of Worthington! GAH! I immediately call my roadside assistance, who sends a nice man from Worthington to come put on my spare (I was NOT crawling around in the wet...no way no how). As he is doing this, a nice young man from the gas station I was stranded at (apparently Lakefield, MN is a real place...) comes out and accosts the old man about "stealing their work". Shit. All was well however because the old man was the young man's grandpa! WTF rural Minnesota!? Really? After all was said and done I was on the road about 90 minutes after calling my roadside people. On top of that delay, I had to drive 55 the entire rest of the way back to Rochester. Overall time for a one-way trip from Worthington to Rochester? 5 hours! Double what it normally takes me cruising nicely at 80. *sigh* Sorry Ryan, but I will NOT be making that trip again for a few weeks. :P
Feb 8, 2009
Ava wears clothes like a champ!
So last weekend I bought Ava an awesome new pirate shirt for her visit to her new friends Sadie and Sam...the shirt got wrecked during playtime (I think dogs might be more destructive toward clothes than infants...) so I'm glad I got a picture!
Jan 13, 2009
Missile Strike!
There I was, being extra careful given the cruddy roads, driving down I90 when a giant ball of ice/snow/and lord knows what else comes flying off a semi and rocks the front end of my car! Anyway...after a loud scream and an "Oh Shit!" I continued on my way back to Rochester. I call my insurance immediately and spoke with a sweet claims adjuster named Gabby who kept calling the ball of yuk a "missile"! Long story short, I take Stella in tomorrow to get fixed. Hooray for insurance and for my mommy who is going to spot me the deductible. Why does this crap ALWAYS happen to me!?!? Anyone?
Jan 4, 2009
Routine...
My Christmas break was awesome due mostly to the fact that I could finally spend my holidays with someone who has never once caused me to question whether or not I want to be with him. I honestly have not enjoyed my holidays this much since I was a kid...I'm so glad to have that joy back. We went caroling with his family, spent some time with my family/friends in Iowa, and partied it up with friends in Chicago over New Years. It's going to be a crazy busy semester with lots of things up in the air, so the time with friends was perfect.
Also...I got A's in both my graduate classes! I will officially be making the big bucks at school once transcripts get sent and HR does their job...which could take forever considering my previous experiences with HR. My confidence in their ability to do their jobs is low.
Anyway...now that the delight of the holidays is over it's time to get back to some semblance of a routine which for me this semester means working Tuesday-Thursday. :) I'm really going to need to find something to do with myself with my free time.
Also...I got A's in both my graduate classes! I will officially be making the big bucks at school once transcripts get sent and HR does their job...which could take forever considering my previous experiences with HR. My confidence in their ability to do their jobs is low.
Anyway...now that the delight of the holidays is over it's time to get back to some semblance of a routine which for me this semester means working Tuesday-Thursday. :) I'm really going to need to find something to do with myself with my free time.
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